BE YOUR OWN ROLE MODEL

I remember reading Tony Robbins ’Ultimate Power for the first time when my life was at a bit of a crossroads. I had a terrible sense of groundless and really didn’t know where I was going in life.

The book taught me one very important thing that stood out: If we want to be a success at anything, we must find others who have been a success before us. Then, we should model our lives on theirs.

So I set out to do just that. I picked three people I admired the most and began to study their habits, behaviours and choices.

It worked for a while and I did see some positive changes in my life. But eventually I started to realise that looking to others for inspiration meant that I wasn’t looking within myself. I was constantly playing roles. I was acting. I was shadowing other people. My decisions were at odds with my actual values. I felt like a fake. I felt distant from who I really was.

Over the years, I’ve found that it’s okay to model yourself on someone else, but that it’s also important that you be your own role model, too.

It’s YOU that has to set your own standards. It’s YOU that has to decide on your values and stick to them. It’s YOU that has to consistently do the right thing.

If you want to be a better role model for yourself so that your thoughts and actions are always consistent with your values and morals, here are my top 10 tips on how to be your own role model.

Learn How To Make Positive Choices

There is an episode of Frasier when Frasier powerfully sums up what ethics is: Ethics is not what we do when others are watching us. It’s what we do when they’re not watching us.

Anyone can do the right thing when they know they’re being watched. But how many of us do the right thing when we know we’re not being watched? We’ve all cut corners and told white lies. It’s just part of the game of life.

But if you want to be a better role model to yourself, it’s time to start making positive choices. In other words, it’s time to do the right thing all the time.

Eat Better

Is a person who eats junk food and gets too drunk each weekend really going to the one who inspires you? I didn’t think so.

A healthier you is a more productive and inspiring you. Put the right foods into your body from now on.

Apologise And Admit When You Were Wrong

I dislike stubbornness. I think it’s a really negative trait that stops a person from growing. If you hang out with stubborn people who show no signs of changing, I suggest moving on from them.

But before you do, look at yourself first. How ready and willing are you admit when you’ve made a mistake? Or are you the kind of person who continues to insist that you did nothing wrong?

Admitting mistakes is important for a few reasons but more important than anything else is that owning up to an error gives you the chance to atone and learn.

We learn from our mistakes. It’s how we grow. But if we’re too stubborn to first of all accept that we made a mistake in the first place, we will never grow.

Be Prepared To Fail

If you aren’t prepare to fail, you’re scared to live your life. Take the risks and deal with the consequences. If you fail, learn from it and get back on the horse.

Respect Other People

Part of the problem I had when modelling myself on other people was that they didn’t always share the values I had had since childhood. And because I’m a firm believer that the values we have as children are the ones we have for life, I knew that I had to become my own role model.

Your personality might change as you get older, and your habits and behaviour might change, too. But your core values always remain the same, even if you don’t always stick to them.

It’s like when you have a few cocktails. The alcohol and the context sometimes causes you to say and do things you regret the next day. You weren’t being true to yourself, but by acknowledging your erred, you’re acknowledging that you have immutable values.

Respect is a huge deal. Respect yourself and everyone else. Don’t ever take a day off from respect. Respect children, your elders, rich people, poor people  …  respect everyone.

Be Kind To People 

“Practice kindness every day to everyone and you will realise that you’re already in heaven now.”

     – Jack Kerouac  

Don’t be mean to people. Be kind. Show compassion every day. This will inspire you and those around you. Life is more beautiful when you show love.

Follow Through

Okay, so you’ve made a decision to finally do something. But are you going to stick to it this time?

Possibly not, right?

Okay. But failing to stick to a decision is bad form. If you can’t finish something you started, you wont’ achieve your potential. You will always be stuck in development hell. You will remain where you started.

Sometimes we don’t follow something through because we fear we’re not good enough and that we’ll fail. But following something through and achieving it proves to yourself that you are good enough. And if you did it once, you can do it again.

Dress To Impress

People who walk around in their rags don’t impress us. And when you look at yourself in the mirror wearing your worst, baggy clothes, you’re hardly going to feel inspired.

Give yourself a boost each day by dressing to kill all the time.

Show Confidence

Confidence is so important. Without it, we will struggle to achieve anything.

Think of all your role models in life. The one thing they all had in common without fail was confidence.

To become the person who inspires yourself, you need to have confidence in your abilities. Without it, it’s impossible to be your own role model.

So make snap decisions. Take the lead. Grab the bull by the horns.

Be Honest

Lastly, a good role model is one who is sincere, honest and open. Make sure this is you.

YOU ACHIEVE YOUR LIFE GOALS

We all have life goals. Some of us have bigger goals than others. For example, while some make it their goal to stay fit and healthy, others want to live in the Big house..

But while setting life goals is one thing, actually achieving them is another altogether. How many of us can say that we’re on the right road to achieving our goals? And how many of us are quite frankly miles away from achieving them?

Achieving your life goals could be enough to complete your life. If you’re determined to do just that, let’s take a look at 10 inspirational tips that can help.

Be Committed

Nobody whoever achieved their goals did so without being committed. Put simply, you can’t achieve anything you really want in life unless you give it your all.

Your life goals deserve at the very least from you whole-hearted commitment, desire and determination. If you’re struggling with this process, it might be that your goals need tweaking. After all, if a life goal isn’t worth committing to, is it really the right goal? For you to commit 100% to something, a goal has to be meaningful.

Keep Track Of Your Progress

It’s important that you write down your goals on paper so that you know exactly what you’re aiming for, and what you have to do. But as part of the process, you should also track your progress.

Tracking your progress can b done using a goal-tracking worksheet. Alternatively, you could download and use a goal management app, or implement a method of your own choosing.

Tracking your progress helps you to stay on track. It keeps you updated with where you’re at, and lets you know how much more still needs to be done.

Ask For Help

There will be times when you come up against obstacles in the pursuit of your goals. These moments will define how successful you are in completing your goals. The easy option when faced with what seems like an impossible obstacles is to turn right around and give up.

But you know what’s better? Asking for the advice of others! You might not realise it, but people can help you achieve your goals. Why do everything yourself when you’ve got friends and family to call on?

Take Action

What separates people who achieve their goals from those who don’t is that the former took action, while the latter group did not.

You can’t keep waiting around for things to happen. You can’t let yourself get stuck in planning hell, nor can you keep on making excuses, such as “I have no time this week.”

Now is the time. If you want to achieve your goals, you simply have to take action.

Tell People

When I wanted to lose more weight and become healthier, I made a big announcement about it on Facebook. I told everyone who could see my post what my goals were and wanted to achieve. Why? Because it made me accountable to other’s.

Making yourself accountable to people you care about is a great way of reaching your goals. Once you’ve told people you’re going to do something, you will be much more determined to go out there and actually achieve it.

It’s not easy sharing your setbacks, admittedly. But doing so will encourage your friends and family to give you words of encouragement, and this will help to keep you on track.

Break Them Up

One of the most common reasons people fail to achieve their goals is because they’re just too big and unrealistic. This happens a lot of life goals especially; we want things such as penthouses and yachts, but we soon realise that achieving these things is just going to be way too difficult.

For this reason, it’s a good idea to break your long-term goal into a series of small-term goals that will help you to achieve your aim. Basically, you’re setting milestones which are smaller goals that are easier to achieve than the massive long-term goal.

Achieving goals is a marathon, not a sprint, and you have to take baby steps to get to the end.

Be Specific

If you simply say, “Oh, I want to lose some weight!” you’re being way too vague. How much is some weight? And when do you want to lose it by?

To help you achieve your goals, it’s a good idea to be a lot more specific. Instead of simply saying that you want to lose weight, write down how much weight you want to lose and when by.

Setting dates gives you a clearer target to work towards. Without a date, it’s hard to stay on track because you could tell yourself “Oh, I’ll do it tomorrow or next week.”

The consequence of this is that you keep on putting things off.

Repeat Mantras

A mantra could be something as simple as “I can do this, I can do this.” Remarkably powerful things, mantras can help you to achieve your goals.

Be Prepared To Work Hard

Nobody who achieved any goal had it easy. Everyone who set life goals and went out and achieved them had to work hard for it.

You hear all kinds of rags to riches stories all the time. Jim Carrey’s family was so poor when he was growing up that they all lived in a van. Oprah Winfrey was raised by a single mom in a poor neighbourhood. Michael Jordan was turned down by his colleges varsity basketball team.

To put your destiny in your own hands, you have to be prepared to move a lot of dirt. There will be obstacles, but if you want this, you have to be ready to square up to challenges.

Visualise Your Goal

If you visualise something, you have a much better chance of achieving it. Athletes and entrepreneurs do this all the time. They picture how they want things to pan out, as it gives them a psychological edge.

For example, a soccer player on the eve of a final will picture himself lifting the trophy. An entrepreneur setting up business will picture it winning awards.

Visualising success gives you a much better chance of actually achieving it.