Many of us have been where you are right now, and many of us have struggled to get out of the rabbit hole. Trapped in someone else’s Facebook or Instagram profile, we find ourselves comparing our “petty” lives to their “brilliant” ones. We can get jealous of their partners, their looks, the attention they get from others. To us, they have the perfect life. And it’s ruining our self-esteem.
I know what it’s like. I’ve been there. You beat yourself up when you see a fresh status from someone or a photo that shows them having an amazing time in the sunshine. But it’s important to remember that everything which gets posted on social media is just a snapshot of someone’s life. It isn’t the whole story. It’s an edited version that removes all the worse bits and keeps all the good stuff.
Let’s take a look at how to prevent negative side effects of social media on your life and self-esteem.
Follow Someone Inspiring
There are a lot of fan pages on the Internet. But before you go and follow Afrocandy and Davido compare your life to theirs too, you should instead consider following motivational people whose job is to inspire you.
There are plenty of these types of great people on social media. Each day, they post blogs, videos, photos and even live streams of inspiring, motivating things. Their job is not to make you feel lousy about your own life, but to inspire you to take action and do better.
Remember That You’re Not Seeing The Whole Picture
Granted, your friend might be super happy. But so what? There is enough happiness to go around for everyone!
But remember that you don’t see the full story on social media. Nobody is crazy enough to give away every single detail of their lives on Facebook, and very few will admit when things are going wrong. They want you to see only the good stuff.
It’s important to remember that everyone is human, and that we often display our best moments on Facebook while leaving out the rest. Remember that there is a story away from the statuses and the photos too, and that there is more than meets the eye. You’re watching the highlights really, and you have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes.
Remember That This Is A Waste Of Time
I had a friend who once got addicted to chat rooms. She wasn’t a teenager with low self-esteem – she was thirty-years-old. After a bad break-up, she found herself enjoying the attention from guys in chat rooms.
Eventually, she got jealous of the guys in there once they started diverting their attention to other women. She spent so much of her time and wasted so much of her energy in these rooms, that her life practically went on hold for six months.
Obsessing over other people is detrimental to your precious time. It’s a waste of your energy. It’s time to start using your time more constructively again, so that you can look forward and be happy.
Disable Your Friends
You still want to use Facebook, but you don’t want to keep getting all those updates from friends who are making you feel bad abut your self-esteem. So why not disable status updates from friends but keep updates from inspirational pages?
Be Grateful
I know it’s easy to be jealous of people’s amazing lives on social media. Maybe you’ve got a friend who lives in Lekki phase 1 or Banana Island where it’s always happening. Perhaps they drive big cars and live the good life. Maybe you don’t have the big or fast car, the eternal sunshine and the beach. But you’ve still got plenty of great stuff in your life that you need to be more thankful of.
Take a moment to write down a list of all the things you’re grateful for. This could include anything, from your health to the fact that you’ve got a roof over your head. It might also include intangible things, such as your sense of humour or your compassionate nature.
Be Proactive
When we compare ourselves to others, we’re reacting to a situation. This is utterly unproductive. All we can do is shake our heads, before curling up on the sofa in a ball and watching Netflix.
Instead of reacting like this, try being positive by actually taking action. Pick a goal that will help to remedy your situation and then make smaller goals that will help you to achieve this long-term goal.
Taking action is the only way to solve a problem. Indeed, the only thing that separates successful people from unsuccessful people is that the former took action while the latter did not.
Remember That There Is No Such Thing As A Perfect Life
Not to sound all downbeat or anything, but there really is no such thing as a perfect life. What might appear to be a perfect life to you is a good life, but one that is far from being the very best that life has to offer.
Everyone faces personal challenges, and everyone faces their own troubles. Don’t judge a book by its cover, and actually show some respect to the other person. They might be facing more tribulations than you realise.
Send The Other Person Good Vibes!
Hey, here’s an idea. Instead of beating yourself up about someone because their life is apparently so much more amazing than yours, and instead of being negative, catty and cynical towards them, turn things around by being positive towards them!
Send them over some love and good vibes. Be happy for them. Praise them and their achievements. Although you might think this is counterproductive, it actually works a treat because you’re exhausting all your negative energy and replacing it with positive energy. It will put you in a better place, and arm you with the motivation to improve your own life.
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